Rishire Writes

I’ve been told on more than one occasion that my standards are too high, especially when it comes to dating. Some of my friends tell me that no one guy can tick all the boxes, and you just have to settle for the one who ticks the most or at least who doesn’t tick too many of the wrong boxes (how many times can I say tick?!). They say that attraction doesn’t come at first sight – that it builds as you get to know the person and reconcile their physical appearance with their personality.

Honestly, I couldn’t agree less. I’m no Disney princess wannabe who believes in love at first sight. That always rings false to me no matter how catchy the songs are. Attraction, though? As far as I’m concerned, that should be instantaneous.

I want to look across a crowded room, lock eyes with a cutie, and immediately want to suck his face. I’m not assuming that said cutie would be boyfriend material, nor would I act on my desire to suck his face without getting to know him first, but I think that feeling is integral to the success of a relationship.

I’m also not the kind of person who changes their mind much – it’s the Taurus in me. Typically, once I’ve had the thought, it gets stuck and there’s very little that can get it unstuck. I once dated this guy, was super excited about him and liked him so very much from the moment we met. I would talk about him with my friends all the while being sure that he couldn’t possibly like me because he’s so cute. Well, he did, and we dated, and things were going great, that is until he did one thing that bugged me, then everything he did started to bug me.

I’m not going to get into the specifics, because mind your business, but let’s just say that completely changed the trajectory of our relationship. I went from seeing a future with this guy, making plans for the next season and counting out the weeks to determine when was an appropriate time to DTR, to rolling my eyes at every text and dreading every date. Everything he did was viewed through this lens of annoyance that I just couldn’t blink out of my eyes. My mind was made up, and what was once an instant attraction became a consistent bother, so I ended things.

To be clear, there was absolutely nothing wrong with this guy. He was great! He just wasn’t great for me, but that’s a whole other post. He ticked a lot of boxes (tick tick tick), but in the end, not enough for me. As I sought counsel from my friends prior to ending things, I got the same spiel that boiled down to me being too picky. Well, I can’t imagine anything I should be more picky about than who I spend my time with, especially romantically.

So don’t settle for less. Set your bar, and don’t move it for anyone. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and one day, you’ll catch one that free Willys over that bar. Happy fishing!